I keep being told how positive I am. Believe me, this is a huge shock. Me? Cynical, cantankerous, obstreperous, opinionated, bolshy, gobby - I will give you all of those. Positive? Mmm.

However, I have to concede that I am. In this, at least.

Why am I losing weight? Because I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. My knees used to hurt. I could hardly haul my flabby bum off the couch. We did a 20 km/13 mile walk last year, and half way up a hill stopped on a low bench for a breather. It took me five minutes to stand up again; not because my legs were tired, but because I literally could not get my knees to lock to stand up.

I hadn't had a bath for almost two years. I couldn't get out without rolling onto my front (causing a tidal wave) and getting to my knees, then pushing up with my arms and one foot.

When I stayed at my brother's last, I was on an airbed on the floor. I had to do the same thing to stand up in the morning.

I needed to lose weight. My blood sugar and my cholesterol had both increased at my last blood test. I have another one in November, and hopefully both will have dropped this time around.

My skin is better. My eyes are clearer. I move more easily, I have more confidence in myself, I look better. I am still fat, of course; with just under six stone to go, I have a long way to go. But I believe that I can do this. The ups and downs that occasionally happen, when my weight sticks for a couple of weeks or I have gain after a loss do not matter. Overall, my weight is going down. I average 7 pounds every five weeks; that's pretty good going.

This has been a tough month. As I've said, I had a good loss, gained half a pound, lost a quarter of a pound, then this week I lost 3.5 pounds. That's 8 pounds off in four weeks. If I'd given up last Saturday, where would I be now? Probably 3.5 pounds heavier. A set back is not permanent; a bad week does not automatically have to follow.

I stick to my points. Within my allowance, if I want something that's not so good for me, I have it. I love being able to do that - if I couldn't eat crisps and chocolate I would just give up! Most of my food is fresh, cooked from scratch. If I don't like what I'm eating, I feel miserable. So it has to taste good, as well as doing me good.

I treated myself this afternoon! Four big plums, a Sweetie, a pomegranate, a Granny Smith and a Braeburn apple. I am going to eat lots of fruit today! OH is not feeling at all well, so I may make a pot of chicken soup shortly. That will do for dinner. We can go out for dinner tomorrow, if he's feeling okay. He often seems to feel ill when we have a milestone, like an anniversary or a birthday. I'm used to that now.

My dad would have been 84 today. He didn't believe in God or religion, but I think somewhere he and mum are keeping an eye on me. I think they'd be quite pleased with me, although dad would no doubt tell me I haven't lost enough or lost it quick enough or soon enough. That's just the way he was!