16 October 2010
I seem to be having one of those days where I have lots to say.
Been doing a lot of thinking about life. Why am I fat? What triggered it all off? Why am I able to lose it now?
Looking back, I was a lanky, gangly little girl until around the age of eight. I was the first in my class to start to develop; when you're a big blonde thing surrounded by delicate, dark, dainty little Highlanders that's no easy thing. I wasn't really fat into my early teens, but I was so much bigger than the other girls that I was taunted and teased about my size. If you are told often enough how fat and stupid you are, you start to believe that.
My parents were - well, Dad was always large, in my lifetime. Mum was tall and skinny, almost six feet tall and never larger than a size 16 at her heaviest (she hit 12 and a half stone in later life, but she was back down to eleven stone when she died.) Because I was getting a little chubby and Dad was overweight, Mum had us on a diet from when I was about ten or eleven. We tried various things; the Cambridge Diet is one very memorable attempt. I am still sickened by the taste of anything vanilla!
The first time I joined WW I would have been 19 or 20. I was just over 14 stone and got down to 12 stone 8 before becoming bored and disillusioned and giving up. I had legs that would stop traffic! You wouldn't believe it now, but once I walked up the back of the bus, sat down, and every male head on the lower deck snapped back to the front.
I gained three stone in six weeks. Ooops. Since then, my weight has gone slowly up, and up, and up. There have been downs in there; I got back under 16 stone when I was running regularly, but not quite as low as 15 stone.
Two long spells on venlafaxine (Effexor), an anti-depressant, helped increase the weight. I gained around 60 pounds on both occasions. The second spell ended in mid-2008, at which point I was 21 stone 8 when I last weighed myself. It took a long time for the weight to stabilise and then begin to slowly drop, but I was still 21 stone when I started this current attempt in May of this year. I am delighted to be able to say that I've lost almost three and a half stone, and I have hope that I will be able to lose the rest of the excess. My dream is to be around 11 and a half stone, although I may revise that when I get to around the 12 and a half stone mark. I don't know how long it will take me, but I feel as though I'm in it for the long haul.
Tonight, I have saved enough points to have five lovely squares of chocolate. I still feel slightly naughty eating it, but it's allowed!
Been doing a lot of thinking about life. Why am I fat? What triggered it all off? Why am I able to lose it now?
Looking back, I was a lanky, gangly little girl until around the age of eight. I was the first in my class to start to develop; when you're a big blonde thing surrounded by delicate, dark, dainty little Highlanders that's no easy thing. I wasn't really fat into my early teens, but I was so much bigger than the other girls that I was taunted and teased about my size. If you are told often enough how fat and stupid you are, you start to believe that.
My parents were - well, Dad was always large, in my lifetime. Mum was tall and skinny, almost six feet tall and never larger than a size 16 at her heaviest (she hit 12 and a half stone in later life, but she was back down to eleven stone when she died.) Because I was getting a little chubby and Dad was overweight, Mum had us on a diet from when I was about ten or eleven. We tried various things; the Cambridge Diet is one very memorable attempt. I am still sickened by the taste of anything vanilla!
The first time I joined WW I would have been 19 or 20. I was just over 14 stone and got down to 12 stone 8 before becoming bored and disillusioned and giving up. I had legs that would stop traffic! You wouldn't believe it now, but once I walked up the back of the bus, sat down, and every male head on the lower deck snapped back to the front.
I gained three stone in six weeks. Ooops. Since then, my weight has gone slowly up, and up, and up. There have been downs in there; I got back under 16 stone when I was running regularly, but not quite as low as 15 stone.
Two long spells on venlafaxine (Effexor), an anti-depressant, helped increase the weight. I gained around 60 pounds on both occasions. The second spell ended in mid-2008, at which point I was 21 stone 8 when I last weighed myself. It took a long time for the weight to stabilise and then begin to slowly drop, but I was still 21 stone when I started this current attempt in May of this year. I am delighted to be able to say that I've lost almost three and a half stone, and I have hope that I will be able to lose the rest of the excess. My dream is to be around 11 and a half stone, although I may revise that when I get to around the 12 and a half stone mark. I don't know how long it will take me, but I feel as though I'm in it for the long haul.
Tonight, I have saved enough points to have five lovely squares of chocolate. I still feel slightly naughty eating it, but it's allowed!
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