I had a bit of a freak out this morning. Well, early afternoon, but it was morning to me.

Someone described my weight loss as inspirational. Earlier in the week, I was described as a role model.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

I don't feel very inspirational, or much like a role model. I'm just plodding along, following the plan and doing my best. It's working for me because I just keep on keeping on. There's no art or mystery to it, that's what I do. I point everything before I eat it, I track everything, I try to be mindful of what I'm eating and make sure I have fruit and veg and low fat dairy products in there every day, along with some whole grains.

I love my food, I love cooking, and I love preparing a good meal. It's a delight to me that what I love to eat and cook fits in with the plan pretty well. I just have to take care with portion sizes and be mindful (that phrase again!) of the ingredients I use. If something is higher in points but adds punch or flavour to a dish, it's worth using a little of it as a kind of seasoning. Hence my spaghetti carbonara recipe that isn't terribly authentic. Bit of bacon, bit of cheese, an egg, onion fried in the bacon grease along with the bacon, bit of garlic, Italian seasoning. Mix into cooked pasta. Gorgeous, and a lot lighter (if you use only a little bacon and low-fat grated cheese and parmesan and omit the cream.)

I really have a hard time accepting compliments. Always have. I know well enough to say thank you when I receive one. My ex used to give me a hard time, because he said you should always repay a compliment in kind. Sometimes it can be hard to do that, or I forget. So compliments, apart from making me a little embarrassed, leave me feeling a bit flustered and uneasy. Although being a contrary soul, I do like to receive them!

Thank you very much to those of you who have been kind enough to compliment me. I really do appreciate it. I just feel a bit of a fraud, a bit unworthy. I'm just jogging along here finding my way as I go; if that helps other people, that is a real bonus. I have to say that I am finding this whole weight loss thing incredibly enriching and rewarding on a personal level. The support given and received on the boards is heart-warming, and to feel that you are not in this alone is so good.

I have a fantastically supportive OH who compliments me all the time and tells me how proud of me he is for losing weight. He's never given me a hard time about my size; he'd love me no matter what. He is delighted that I feel better in myself and have more confidence, and the change in my appearance and shape is very much appreciated by him (and by me.) His love and support has made all the difference to my life, in so many ways. It finally feels like an equal, adult relationship. I love that. And I love him.